February 4 – To Wed or Not To Wed
Matthew 19:10-12 – "The disciples said to him, 'If this is the situation between a husband and wife, it is better not to marry.' Jesus replied, 'Not every one can accept this word, but only those to whom it has been given. For some are eunuchs, because they were born that way; others were made that way by men; and others have made themselves eunuchs because of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept it.' "
I just read a short one-page biography of a full-time Christian worker with a well-known American ministry. At the end of the article was a short prayer request for this worker. It read: "Pray for [Lora] that she would never lose her first love, Christ; pray for contentment as a single woman; and pray for wisdom should God's will be for her to marry." Lora is 40 years old and has never been married; she became a Christian in high school. The article gave the impression that Lora has also been working as a full-time Christian worker, personally raising her own financial support, since she graduated from college. That sounds like someone who is confident in her calling!
However, the final prayer request lacked that same confidence. I believe that request was wonting, not because of confidence itself, but because of a lack of understanding of God's sovereign will versus his allowance of our freedom to make choices in serving him and living for him. Let's look at the last reference in the scripture above regarding eunuchs. This is obviously a term that is rarely mentioned in one's lifetime. Nonetheless, it is simply referring to a male's penis being removed from the body (I don't recommend it). However, the last reference could also be symbolic of the state of renouncing marriage for life, and, therefore, not physical. Regardless of the physicality, Jesus' meaning is that celibacy is a gift(!) for those who can abide by such, not needing a spouse and being content with living alone.
Paul further elucidates this idea in 1 Corinthians 7, a rather long, but clear, chapter on marriage and celibacy. In verse 7 of that chapter, he also calls celibacy a gift – as well as marriage being a gift! They are both gifts. He also states that those who can accept the gift of celibacy, have the greater gift. But neither person is wrong for accepting whatever gift he takes. God allows us to take whichever gift we want.
Paul's further instructions, however, start with verse 29 and goes to verse 38. He wants us married folks to be fully devoted to Jesus, and he tells us that earthly marriage can be a hindrance to that devotion. Jesus also clearly tells us that we are to love Yahweh our God with all our hearts, minds, and strength (Matthew 22:37). I am also to love God more than I love my spouse, which is strongly implied in Luke 14:26, Exodus 34:14, and throughout the 7th chapter of I Corinthians.
The upshot is that Lora is incorrect to think of marriage as God's will. She is free to accept whatever gift she wants, so long as her devotion to God remains steadfast or even becomes greater. There is no need to be confused about getting married, because either way God is pleased with giving you a gift. He is even more pleased when we love him more than the gift itself.
